Once in a blue moon BaconWrapThis will pull recipe from another source just because its that good! I spotted this BLP Bacon Lettuce and plum sandwich. Haven’t had a chance to make it yet but this weekend after 2 Miller 32oz High Life’s and a dip in the pool – this is happening!!!!
Thanks to Melissa Clark from the NY Times for having good taste.
If you ever thought a low-carb diet was a good idea then go efff yourself your still fatter than ever I bet – that’s not how the Bacon Salad Sandwich was formed. Last night, after I watched SOMEONE get his fucking ass handed to him yet again in PS3 FIFA ‘08 we went to the kitchen to work. With limited resources we considered just eating the bacon straight but reminiscing about what a delight the Eggo / Avo / Bacon was, we looked for materials…
The rest of the story played out like this:
Ingredients: 
2 Slices per serving Farmer John’s Bacon (Maple Smoked)
1-2 Fresh Garden Tomatoes (Yea we got a garden)
2 TBS Hidden Valley Ranch
1 Slice Pepper Jack Cheese (That’s all we had – try Mozzarella too)
Directions:
Cook your bacon… NOTE: its best to get a screen when cooking bacon on the stove it creates less mess and will allow you to cook with your shirt OFF – which is a preffered method as bacon bandits will typically try you grab your shirt from behind to pull you away from your prize.
After you have your bacon cooked to the point where your considering reaching into the hot pan and grabbing it with your bare hands – take it off the heat and let the grease absorb into paper towels.
Slice the tomatoes then separate and WASH your lettuce. Please wash your produce and don’t make me go on another food safety rant.
Next take two slices of lettuce and open them up like you would a hot dog bun. Ranch it up to your liking – not a lot is necessary. Then add your cheese and tomatoes and carefully lay TWO slices of freshly cooked bacon over the top.
My preference is to then fold the lettuce in on itself creating a “Bacon Salad Sandwich” but however you want to put it in your mouth is your own business.
Most people dunk their asparagus in mayo anyways so might as well not kid yourself and just cannon ball into flavor.
Ingredients: 
1 pack of Hoffy bacon
1 bushel or fresh asparagus
pepper to taste
Directions:
Pre-heat your oven to 350F
Wash your asparagus thoroughly – we need to make sure all the nast is off the surface of the asparagus. Take some actual responsibility for yourself and wash your shit. Don’t go blogging about food safety and blame the grower because a coyote pooped in the field at 2a.m. just before harvest. Next pepper the asparagus to taste – the more fresh black pepper the better. Take your Hoffy bacon and wrap it the full length of each asparagus. Again pepper to taste. 
Then take a baking sheet lined with tin foil and line up the bacon wrapped asparagus like sardines. Stick it in the oven for at least 15 min then check every 2 min after that to get it to your favorite level of crispiness. Once you remove it from the oven keep one hand free (preferably holding a weapon) to swat off all the filthy bastards who want to check out what you’ve been cooking. Tell them the story about the little red hen and how they didn’t help you at all – to get their Nancy boy asses out of the kitchen before you have to fuck start their face.
Serve with beef ribs, salad, corn and pasta salad…
A buddy ordered a “Veggie” bacon burger the other day. Here’s the proof that even if your life brings you to the point where you only eat things with cellulose, bacon is an OK addition.
Try this one with some choice items in your place. We just cooked it up last night and found it to be stupid good.
Ingredients:
1/4 Avocado
As much bacon as you can shake a fist at
1 Eggo Waffle (Buttermilk) The rest of the flavors are for homos
2 TBS Strawberry Jam/Jelly
1 TSP Butter
Sprig of Parmesan
Directions:
Cook your Eggo and load some butter and Strawberry Jam on there.
Take a look at your bacon and make sure it has been prepared for what its job is. In this case we cooked it a little long to crisp up. 
Spoon your Cado on there like son’s a bitches. (Really 1/4 per waffle)
Sprinkle it with Parm cheese and don’t worry about how fucked up you think this will taste – your fears will soon be gone…
That’s the best headline I could come up with for the first www.Baconwrapthis.com post. Look here for all you Bacon News, Recipes and Bacon Porn Photos.
